Alluring
by JFVM
Summary: What would have happened if Edward had lured Bella away after their first meeting.
1. Chapter 1

I have to fix Alluring so i took it down to rewrite it better i hope everyone dont get mad at me please forgive me and i hope everyone will like this way better.

Prologue: Lapse

I cursed under my breath as I stormed my way to the Volvo where my family was waiting for me. I had  
never had a worse day at school and it didn't look like it was going to get any better.  
It had been absolute hell on earth sitting next to that girl in Biology class. Who did she think she was  
coming into my life and driving me half out of my mind with desire for her blood? How dare she try to  
ruin what my family had made for ourselves here, it just wasn't fair! Didn't we deserve at least a  
little peace?  
I cursed again; frustrated that she could demolish all of my carefully crafted walls in just a few  
moments. She was a danger to our way of life and a danger to herself, though she might not have realized  
it yet. Damn her.  
"Edward," Alice, my sister, called out to me when she saw me coming towards them. There was a look of  
panic, worry and fear etched into her face as she looked at me. I knew instantly that she had had a  
vision involving me and it terrified her. I tried to block her out and give her privacy most of the  
time, but when one of her visions involved me I couldn't help but peek into her mind.  
I saw myself covered in blood, a look of horror on my face as I looked down at my prey, Bella Swan.  
For a moment I wondered if she was asking me about what had happened in Biology class, showing me a  
vision of what my future would have been if I had given into my baser instincts. Then I realized she  
wasn't showing me a past memory, it was a vision she was having now. A vision of what my future was  
going to be.  
But wait, that couldn't be right! I had been in her presence twice today and I had walked away both  
times, controlling the urge to sink my teeth into the lovely pink flesh of her neck, to taste the blood  
that had been distracting me all day… I gritted my teeth and forced myself not to think of it. I would  
drive myself crazy if I thought of her again. I had never been so attracted to the scent of blood before  
hers. I could even smell it now, the heady floral aroma.  
I shook my head to clear it of the scent but it wouldn't go away. I looked up and saw Bella walking  
toward me from across the parking lot, a determined look on her face. I stood shock still, unable to  
believe that my prey was coming to me willingly, practically offering herself up on a platter. Suddenly  
I understood Alice's bloody vision and I knew that it was going to come true. I craved her blood like I  
had never craved anything before. I was too far gone to think of the repercussions. All I knew was that  
the closer she got to me, the more delicious her blood smelled. I had to get her on her own and soon, I  
wasn't going to last much longer with her scent surrounding me.  
"Edward, it's time to go home, Esme will be upset if we are late!" Alice"She is Chief Swan's only  
child!" She screamed in her mind, begging me not to do this. called, trying to hide the note of  
desperation that was filling her voice. I ignored her; she already knew what was going to happen.  
I turned toward her and tossed the car keys to Rosalie, who caught them easily and gave me a  
disapproving glare. Even though she didn't agree with my choice I knew she wouldn't interrupt either.  
"I'll walk home," I called to them, "I need to take care of something first."  
Alice's voice was loud and clear in my mind, "What will Carlisle think?"  
I hesitated for a moment as Carlisle's disappointed face drifted through my minds eye. I would have  
turned around then, I really would have, but the wind blew Bella's scent toward me, effectively blocking  
out any other rational thought in my mind.  
I turned from Alice, back to Bella and saw that she was only a few feet away from me, her eyes still  
filled with determination to say whatever it was that she thought needed to be said.  
"What in the hell is wrong with you?" she asked, standing only two feet away from me. She was braver  
than she looked. I bit back a laugh at her bravado, not many people would come face to face with a  
vampire and ask them what their problem was. Unfortunately for her it wasn't going to save her life.  
"It's Bella, right?" I asked and she nodded. "I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me."  
I gestured toward the forest and I saw her hesitate for a moment before looking into my eyes. What she  
saw there must not have worried her because she strode into the forest without another word from me.  
I hid my surprise with a delighted smile. I had never caught my prey with such ease before, it was a  
nice change.  
I followed after her, forcing myself to relax for just a moment. I was going to taste her blood soon; I  
could force some cordiality before that, couldn't I? It turned out that I couldn't.  
The moment we were far enough into the forest that I knew none of the students couldn't see or hear us,  
I felt the desire for her blood overtake me, just as it had in the classroom earlier. I grabbed her arm  
and barely heard her gasp in protest before I picked her up, slung her on my back and took off deeper  
into the forest. I didn't want anyone to accidentally come across us, there didn't need to be more  
bloodshed today.  
The biggest problem was that with her so close to me I couldn't wait any longer to taste her blood. I  
stopped with one swift, fluid movement and Bella fell to the ground behind me with a loud thump. I  
turned toward her quickly, my mouth already filling with venom at the scent of her blood. It was such a  
thick, mouthwatering scent I couldn't stop myself from inhaling it again and then cursing the fiery ache  
that raced down my throat like a match to gasoline.  
I snarled at the pain of the fire on my parched throat. It had really been too long since I had hunted  
last, perhaps I wouldn't be in this predicament if I had recently fed but part of me doubted that. Even  
if I had hunted earlier in the day I would be here, the call of her blood was too strong for me to  
resist.  
I heard a shuffling noise to my right and I snapped toward the sound. Bella wasn't fleeing as I had  
thought; she was merely standing up and brushing the dirt of her clothes. The look she gave me wasn't  
what I had expected. She wasn't afraid of me; she was only surprised at the events that had taken place  
in the past few moments. Any normal human being should have been terrified, but this girl obviously had  
no sense of self-preservation at all… strange.  
A small gust of wind made its way through the forest, blowing her hair around her face and making my  
throat flare again. I crouched down, unable to wait any longer. "I'm sorry about this," I managed before  
I launched myself at her, knocking her to the ground.  
I only half heard her soft moan of protest when I bit into the soft flesh of her neck. The blood tasted  
sweeter than I had ever imagined, it was pure ambrosia. I drunk deep, lapping at the wound I had made.  
No blood had ever compared to this, it was the sweetest most perfect taste.  
I pulled back for a moment, wiping the blood from my lips. The moment I did I realized that I was living  
Alice's vision. I was covered in blood and staring down at Bella Swan. In that instant I snapped out of  
whatever hold her blood had for me.  
My scream of horror and anguish rang through the stillness of the forest.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: Edward POV...(_flashback in lunchroom)_

The incessant chatter about her had been buzzing through my head all day as my fellow classmates could think nothing about this shiny new thing that had recently entered their little world. In Forks, Washington, there wasn't much happening as it was so small and isolated so the arrival of a student was big news and had been the topic of the town since she had arrived. The town almost seemed dormant, asleep and unnoticing. That was the reason why my family had chosen to stay here; small towns like this where everyone knew each other were for some reason much more tolerant and accepting of stranger characters like me and my family. Larger city residents tended to be much more suspicious and guarded. Small town people were more trusting I suppose, even though they really shouldn't trust us. Regardless, our presence remained without much notice of the townspeople here in Forks which is exactly what we would need while we stayed here; that and the fact that this small town was one of the least sunny places in the world. Most people here tended to just avoid us, their subconscious minds warning them how dangerous we were even though their conscious minds would never grasp any confirmation of their hidden suspicions.

I suppose that was the reason why she caught my attention in the first place, this Isabella Swan. She preferred to be called Bella though and had corrected everyone who had used her full name. While most of the students of the high school avoided us, not even so much as really looking any of us in the eye, she seemed to be fascinated with our small group at the far table in the cafeteria. She had looked right into my eyes and had only looked away from embarrassment for having been caught staring at a stranger, not from fear. This would have really puzzled me if not for the fact that it was at that point that I realized I couldn't hear her thoughts. While the thoughts of her classmates were a constant, annoying drone, much like an insect that keeps buzzing around your head, she gave off no sound. If I weren't looking at her it would be as if no one was there at all.

I heard her speak to Jessica Stanley, a bitter and venomous girl on the inside though cordial enough to the public, and yet still I could not pick up on her thoughts. Her expressions were incredibly clear and it was almost ironic that while she could be read as though reading a book through her deep brown eyes, her thoughts remained locked to me.

This new girl, while seeming unimpressive and uninteresting in the dull thoughts of her classmates, seemed to have more to her than her unobservant counterparts had grasped. Their thoughts didn't pick up the unexpected depth of her brown eyes that seemed both wise and fresh at the same time, nor did their thoughts see the translucent porcelain colour of her skin. Her pulse was readily visible through her pale, clear skin. She seemed extremely uncomfortable as she sat there, not wanting the inevitable attention of being the newest attraction. I felt myself becoming more interested in this new girl, favoring her dislike of such unnecessary and frivolous attention, and further perplexed as to why I couldn't hear her thoughts. I felt an inkling that I should shield her from the bitter depths of Jessica's intentions and thoughts but ignored it as I knew better than to get close to any of my fellow students.

"Shall we?" Rosalie murmured. I realized it was time to leave the lunchroom and my family had already begun picking up their trays of untouched food. I used to feel guilty about the food we wasted knowing others were going hungry all over the world but as my humanity seemed to slip away over the years the thoughts of others needing this human food rarely crossed my mind any more.

"So, is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked. I shrugged, unwilling to admit my recent failure, and Emmett carried on not interested enough to press for further information.

Edward POV...(_flashback in biology)_

As we left the cafeteria I sighed as I realized the boredom I was about to walk into as I was headed to Mr. Banner's biology class. I'd gone through the high school system several times since my transformation and there was very little that had changed in the lectures throughout the years. The books that I carelessly spilled across the lab table held nothing I didn't already know and I prepared myself for the tedium of class as I sat on the uncomfortable wooden stool.

As the students entered the classroom I was still absent-mindedly mulling over my inability to access the new girl's mind when Angela Weber entered the room guiding her, the new girl entering her thoughts for the first time in my presence.

Bella seems just as shy as me. I'll bet today is really hard for her. I wish I could say something… but it would probably just sound stupid…

I could clearly hear the thoughts of everyone around us and still her thoughts eluded me. I felt uneasy and unnerved. Never before had I ever experienced this failure and inability. I felt okay, no different than usual, so I didn't think it was me. Maybe there was something very different about this girl…

I began moving my books over to my side of the table as I realized she would be sitting next to me. I was the only student in the room who didn't already have a partner at the table. Perhaps if she was closer to me I would be able to hear her thoughts better… or at all.

I was not prepared for what happened next. As she walked past me I caught her scent and it hit me harder than I ever could have imagined. I reeled from the impact completely unexpectant of such a shock as I felt a hunger stronger even than the hunger I'd felt right after my transformation. I hardly thought such a desire to be possible! The last shreds of my humanity slipped away then as I became no more than a carnal hunter stalking its prey. The lives of those around us meant nothing to me, nothing could stop my desire, my lust for this intoxicating blood that smelled more alluring than any other I'd ever come across. There were no words to describe it, but I wasn't looking for words now. Now was for hunting, planning, killing.

I felt my insides twist and churn with the burning thirst for her, pangs of a violent unquenchable desire for her blood flowed through my body and even the sudden excess flow of venom to my mouth could not soothe the fire in my throat. I tensed my muscles and felt my eyes narrow and focus as I prepared to set my thoughts in action. Hardly a second had passed since the scent first hit me and she hadn't even walked a full step yet.

She looked at me then and I could see the monster I had become reflected in her eyes. My facial expression was ravenous and carnal, no traces of humanity remained. Her eyes widened in shock and her pulse sped up sympathetically, a warm red flush colouring her cheeks as she undoubtedly wondered, embarrassed by my look, what had caused such a hostile reaction to her presence. Her flush was so tantalizing and set another wave of her scent towards me, warm and fresh. Her eyes were far from warm though, they were afraid and repulsed by the monster they reflected. She stumbled as she tried to get away from me and all I could think was how vulnerable she was, how easy she would be to obtain.

Somehow I held back. I rebelled against my desire to strike, nearly pulverizing the edge of the wooden table I held an iron grip on now. Erasing the fingerprints I'd imprinted into the wood by rubbing it down with my fingers so it was just a normal wear spot, I held myself to my seat as I gauged the living evidence of my true self that would need to be disposed of.

The revulsion of what I really was caused me to shudder inwardly, but it didn't stop me from planning my attack. Though she stumbled away now, she would come back and she would have to sit beside me. There were no other options, not for her nor me. She was irresistible and I needed her, I had to have her. No other options. I had never before killed innocents, not even when I had rebelled from Carlisle's 'vegetarian' ideals, but now there would be no other options. They would have to die, every last one. No options, destroy the evidence.

I was not without compassion though. It would be fast, painless. The first few to die would not even realize anything was happening before I struck. The last would only have to cower with fear for a short time. They wouldn't even have time to scream if I did it properly.

The thoughts of Carlisle had stopped the progress of my plans though. He had worked so hard to create a pleasant life for me and my family. I couldn't just disregard that and killing a classroom full of people would definitely destroy everything he'd worked so hard to build here.

As the war waged within my head, precious time was bought for Bella and the other members of Mr. Banner's class. My resistance was interrupted as she sat down next to me, the smell of her blood creating a haze around me, flooding all my senses. Her nearness taunted me and her actions were infuriating as she fanned out her fair, creating a wall between us, but also sending fresh waves of smell towards me.

The repulsion of the monster within me was the only thing that saved her and her classmates now. No matter how strongly I desired her, no matter how strongly I ached for her, I could not act yet. Not here in this classroom, not with all these people to become casualties in my own personal battle of demons. She would not be safe forever though.

I hated her now, hated her with a passion unlike anything I'd felt before. I had denied my thirst for so long, decades now! How could she just come in here and taunt me like this? Who was she to destroy everything I'd worked to become, to just rip away the small shred of humanity I'd held on to for so long with a simple flip of her hair, leaving me with nothing more than the blood lusting monster that lay beneath my angelic appearance.

I held my breath now, against my instincts to hunt and smell – a vampire's strongest tool was the sense of smell. Though I didn't require oxygen I felt uncomfortable holding my breath and the combination of not being able to smell and not being able to unravel the mysteries of her mind were driving me crazy. I would have to endure it though, I would have to wait. Wait until later, until I could have her and enjoy her. I would want to take my time, to savor her because blood that smelled so sweet would surely have a taste beyond anything I'd tasted before. Her blood would be like the finest of all wines.

I would have to lure her away from the others, like a lion stalking its prey, separating the chosen sacrifice from the herd. This would not prove easy though. I was not the only one whose attention had been caught. I shot an irritated glance at Mike Newton who had thought of nothing but Bella all day.

Perhaps one more casualty would not be too much hassle. I was already damned for eternity; a bit more blood on my hands would hardly make any difference.

The hour stretched on longer than any hour of my life. I sat on edge the entire time, plotting, planning, and resisting my urges. The anticipation of the kill was almost unbearable.

The bell rang and I was out of my seat in an instance, scooping my books up in a fluid motion, then I picked up Bella's as well. She looked up at me in surprise as she tried to register what was happening, her eyes widening further as she realized I had her books.

I smiled at her and gazed into her eyes. Curiosity splashed over her face as she undoubtedly wondered how my expression had changed from one of venom to one of honey so quickly.

"Hi, my name is Edward Cullen," I introduced myself in my most seductive, velvety voice, making my eyes smolder as I looked unblinkingly into her dark eyes. "Can I walk you to your next class?"

Her mouth moved slightly as she struggled to find the words but she never broke her stare into my eyes. I felt myself grin crookedly as the desired effect of my seduction took hold of her. I stepped slightly closer to her, feeling the heat radiating off her body against my own cold self.

"Al-alright," she stammered, as she awkwardly tried to move forward as she joined me walking out of the class. I cast a quick glance towards Mike and saw a frown of disappointment on his face and heard him curse me in his thoughts but he made no move to take Bella away from me.

"Which class are you headed to now?" I asked calmly, still not daring to breathe.

"Um, P.E. I think," she said softly, her voice shaking slightly and I didn't know if it was from nerves or fear. Maybe both.

"I'll show you right to the gymnasium Bella, but can I ask you to accompany me out to my car first?" I asked sweetly, making my voice as smooth as possible, "I've left a book for my next class there. It won't take too much longer."

Though she seemed cautious about going to the car with me, she followed along anyways, as I knew she would. I could be irresistibly inviting if I really wanted to.

"How did you know my name?" she asked suddenly, surprising me from my planning.

"Everyone's been talking about you, I overheard it," I replied casually as I scanned the parking lot for anyone else.

"It's just, you called me Bella while everyone else seems to know me as Isabella…" she said, trailing off as we neared the parking lot.

"It's just that car over there," I said, quickly changing the subject as I nodded to the silver Volvo in front of us.

She said nothing but followed along beside me, only a little hesitant. I scanned the area once more, there were no witnesses.

I leaned against the door of my car and looked at Bella now, studying her, everything about her. Her pale skin was slightly flushed now as she stood awkwardly in front of me. Though she was not a traditional beauty, there was something undeniably attractive about her. There as a wisdom in her eyes that belied her young age, and a seductive look to her pouty lips she seemed completely unaware of as she pursed them slightly as she looked around, a slight unease to her stature as she realized we were alone.

"Don't be afraid Bella," I said lowly as I looked at her with my most seductive look.

"I'm not afraid," she murmured softly, "I'm just wondering why you haven't gotten your book yet. You're going to be late."

I raised an eyebrow, curious as to whether her statement of not being afraid was true. Her heartbeat was racing but looking into her eyes there was more confusion than fear. She truly was a complex and curious character.

"I don't really feel up to class right now. I was thinking of going for a walk instead. Would you like to join me?"

She looked skeptically at the dark clouds above and once more around the deserted parking lot. As she looked I stepped a bit closer to her. She looked up at me in surprise of our sudden closeness, but she didn't try to turn away. She contemplated her options for a second but then nodded in agreement at joining me.

I walked as leisurely as possible towards the woods that touched on the edge of the parking lot. Bella stumbled a bit on a rock as we stepped onto the path and I instinctively reached out a hand behind her back to steady her.

"Don't worry, I have you," I said softly in my low, chocolaty voice. I kept my hand on the small of her back as we walked as I led her into the woods and she made no move to escape my touch. I quickly looked around once more – we were completely alone.

Gently leading her off the path, she was looking at me rather than where we were going which made it easier to steal her away. We stopped by a large tree and she turned her back to it as she turned to speak to me.

"Maybe we should head back now," she suggested, looking back towards the direction of the school then looking back towards me as I stepped closer to her. The narrow space between our bodies grew smaller and I put an arm out over her shoulder, leaning in on it against the tree, growing closer now. I allowed myself to breathe again and the scent seemed even more tantalizing and seductive here in the forest than it had before in the oppressive classrooms.

She breathed in from shock at our closeness and stared wide-eyed into my own eyes. Her wide eyes were not from fear for her life though. It was a strange look for the situation, more like a girl nervous about an impending first kiss rather than a girl who had been stolen away by a monster. She closed her eyes then and breathed deeper and I realized that she was taking in my own scent.

"Do you find me attractive?" I asked suddenly, curiosity strangely winning out over my hunger.

"Yes," she replied in a low, breathy voice and she blushed furiously as she realized what she said.

I reached my free hand up to her face then as I studied her. With the utmost care I raised my hand to her flushed cheek and lightly grazed it with my thumb, savoring the warmth of the blood that flowed beneath the translucent skin and the unexpected electricity that seemed to accompany the touch. I moved my thumb to the dark pink of her lip and felt it soft and warm. I realized then that I desired her for more than just her blood. This was an unforeseen complication.

I looked at her puzzled as I tried to sort out exactly what I wanted – what I needed. I needed her blood that much was certain. It was too desirable, impossible to resist. But I didn't want her to die, I was selfish and I wanted her to be mine. I liked this electricity that I felt when we were close, I liked the desire I felt to be near her, to touch her.

"Can I keep you?" I whispered, just barely audible to her.

Her lips parted then but she said nothing. I slid my hand from her lips to her cheek, my bottom fingers resting at her jaw line just below her ear. I moved my other hand that had been propping me up against the tree to her shoulder and stepped closer so that our bodies were pressed together.

She gasped but made no move to try to escape me, she did not even tense from surprise or revulsion. I bent my head down and kissed her lightly on the lips. I wasn't prepared for the rushed of warmth or the electricity that flowed through us then. I broke off the kiss and looked at her bewildered, breathless myself as we both gasped at the intensity of our touch.

"Edward?" she questioned in a soft whisper, her eyes questioning me and what I'd just done.

"I'm sorry Bella," I replied as I brushed her hair behind her back, exposing her neck.

Before she had time to react I leaned in and placed my lips against the warm skin of her neck, feeling her pulse race against my mouth. I bit her then, striking quickly to try to create as little pain as possible and drank deeply and quickly.

As alluring as her smell was it was nothing in comparison to her taste. I had never tasted anything so sweet and rich in my life and most likely would never find blood like hers again. The electricity I had felt when we kissed continued now and I was suddenly reminded of my desire to keep her forever for myself.

I broke away from her and the undeniable hold her blood had on me and stumbled backwards a few paces.

Her hand flew up to her neck where she was bleeding freely now and she looked at me in fear as she collapsed at the foot of the tree.

"I'm so sorry Bella," I murmured as I picked her up quickly and ran towards a meadow deep within the woods that was my favorite place, "I don't want to lose you… there was no other option."

I lay her down in the meadow on some soft moss. She was already beginning to feel the effects of the change as she looked up at me with terror-filled eyes. She gasped in pain as she clutched at the place where I bit her.

"Shhh…" I said as soothingly as I could. "I'm so sorry Bella, but it will be over soon. Three days. I'm so sorry, I couldn't stop myself. I had no choice."

I smoothed her hair out of her face as I stared at the girl who had taken my life and completely changed its course within a few hours. For decades I had walked alone, never knowing true companionship and yet here I was with a girl I had yet to really meet and I knew I would not be able to exist without her ever again.

I felt an overpowering guilt at what I had made her. Eternal damnation... I knew it was wrong to make this choice for her, but I was essentially a selfish creature and she was so alluring to me.

In the short time that we had been together I could feel a strange attraction to her. A strange attraction that I'd never felt before. It was more than blood lust, it was more than a sexual desire. It was as if the soul I'd longed for, the redemption I sought had been answered with this girl. She was like my angel.

I didn't know what I was doing anymore but I sat and waited. I would have three days to figure out what I would tell Carlisle and the others. Three days to repair the damage I'd caused in the small town of Forks. Three days…


	3. Chapter 3

I have left bella in the forest alone after i bit her i feel so guity for it but i just couldnt help my self i wanted her,i needed her _fovever. _So i went to the the person i know know i can count on my father carlisle.

"Carlisle!"  
I had left Bella in the woods and rushed to the hospital, hoping to find my father. He would know what  
to do; he would know if my mistake could be fixed. I was standing in the middle of the Emergency room  
and I knew I must have looked half crazed but I couldn't calm down, I had put all of us in danger and I  
needed Carlisle to help me fix it.  
He left the patient he had been attending and walked toward me. He knew that I never would have  
interrupted him at work unless it was an emergency. "Edward, what have you done?" his voiced echoed in  
my head as he noticed my red rimmed irises.  
"I need you to come with me, I need to see if she can be saved," I whispered as quietly as I could. No  
matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep the anguish out of my voice. I had never felt so guilty before  
in my life.  
Carlisle didn't hesitate, he turned to the nearest doctor and said urgently, "I need to get home; there  
has been a family emergency."  
The doctor gave me a startled look, "It must be something pretty bad, and I'll talk to the Administrator  
for you."  
"Thank you," Carlisle said graciously, "Come on, Edward."  
"Run or drive?" he asked me silently.  
"Run," I muttered under my breath.  
There was silence between us as we walked out of the hospital and made our way slowly into the woods.  
The moment we were out of view we took off into the forest, running as fast as we possibly could. "What  
happened?" Carlisle asked me.  
"Her blood… I have never smelled anything like it before. I couldn't stop myself, I am so sorry,  
Carlisle," my voice was laced with regret and pain. "I can't let her die."  
He said nothing, but I could tell he was pushing himself harder, hoping to reach Bella in enough time to  
make a difference. "How much of her blood did you drink?"  
"Not much, when I realized what was happening I left her and came to find you."  
It didn't take us long to find her, less than thirty seconds from when we entered the woods we reached  
her side. I watched as Carlisle knelt at her side and bent over her to take her pulse. "Her heart is  
still beating, she has already started the change. We need to get her to the house so I can keep her  
stable."  
I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding. I felt relief tinged with incredible  
guilt. I knew Carlisle hadn't ever wanted to change anyone again and because of my mistake we were going  
to have another addition to the family. Carlisle picked her up in his arms and she cried out in pain.  
Remorse lanced through me at the pain in her voice. "I will take responsibility for her," I told him as  
we started running toward home.  
I think that surprised him; he looked over at me, trying to hide the shock he felt. "Are you sure? I  
know Alice would help her without us even asking her to."  
"It's my fault she is going to be one of us, I need to do this," I told him with determination.  
"I think we need to head back to Alaska for a while, Forks isn't safe for us anymore. We need to head  
home, the family needs to know what has happened."  
I looked at the girl in his arms who was whimpering in pain with every step Carlisle took. If I lived  
for a thousand years I don't think it would be possible to forget the look on her face and the guilt I  
felt at that moment. I promised myself in that moment that I would do whatever it took to take care of  
Bella and ease her into our way of life. Somehow I would fix this, even if it took the rest of my  
existence to do.


	4. Chapter 4

I

the end, Carlisle decided that the least conspicuous thing to do was for Alice, Jasper and I to head  
to Alaska and for the rest of the family to stay until after graduation. After a few minutes of  
discussion, Esme reminded him that it would look suspicious if the entire family left town at the same  
time Bella Swan seemed to have disappeared. She told us that she would inform the school that the three  
of us missed home and decided to go back to Alaska and stay with some friends for the remainder of the  
school year.  
"I'm not sure what I should tell my colleagues the family emergency was," Carlisle mused thoughtfully,  
stroking his chin.  
"Well, what if we say a friend of ours in Alaska was in an accident and died, that could provide a good  
reason for why we are heading back there for the rest of the year," Alice suggested. "We are going back  
to comfort and help our friends out."  
"That would give us a plausible cover story," Carlisle agreed.  
"It's pathetic that we need one," Rosalie said disdainfully, "If Edward hadn't screwed up we wouldn't  
need to do this."  
"That's not fair, Rosalie, other people in this family have made mistakes that have caused us to do this  
same thing before. You can't blame him for losing control this once," Esme reprimanded her gently.  
"Hell, I was beginning to feel weak compared to you," Emmett said and punched me in the shoulder,  
"Thanks for showing the family I'm not the only weak link."  
While everyone was talking and trying to figure out a way to repair my mistakes I ignored them and  
stayed quiet, my eyes fixed on the small girl on our sofa. She hadn't opened her eyes since we brought  
her home. Even though Carlisle assured me that she was indeed going through the change, I worried that  
she wasn't going to make it through. She seemed so incredibly small and fragile to me, even for a human.  
Every whimper or scream of pain she made was ingrained in my memory forever.  
I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to touch her hand, trying to give her some comfort, but every  
time I tried she would shudder and pull away.  
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up into Alice's face. "I'm sorry I didn't try harder to stop  
you."  
I flinched away from the guilt in her thoughts. She shouldn't be shouldering the burden for what I had  
done, but that was the way Alice had always been. She had always taken some of the blame for things that  
had gone wrong; she had felt obligated to do everything in her power to make sure her visions didn't  
come true. She couldn't have made me feel worse if she had yelled at me.  
"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, the pull was just too strong," I muttered and she squeezed my  
shoulder.  
"I would have gone after you and left the others to drive home, but I had another vision of the girl  
joining our family…" her words trailed off but I saw her vision replayed in her mind. Alice had been  
weak as well, she had seen Bella becoming one of us and seen that them becoming close friends. In her  
moment of weakness she had let me carry out the vision so she could gain happiness with a new friend.  
"It was selfish of me."  
"No more selfish than me letting my bloodlust take her life away," I disagreed.  
"I saw something else too," she paused nervously, as though she knew I wasn't going to like where this  
lead.  
"I don't think I want to know," I said firmly and Alice nodded, letting her mind drift away to another  
topic.  
"We will take care of her, she won't want for anything we can give her," Alice said quietly as she  
looked down at Bella. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it was woefully inadequate.  
"She is going to be okay," Alice reminded me, "I've seen her."  
I tried to let myself be reassured, but I had never done something like this before. I wondered if this  
was how Carlisle felt every time he had changed one of us. Was she screaming more or less than normal?  
Was her body in so much pain that she couldn't think of the strange people surrounding her, just the  
agony she was in? I felt lost, confused and worried. I hadn't run for Carlisle's help just to let her  
die now.  
"What vehicle should we take?" Jasper asked Carlisle. At the mention of travel I tuned myself back into  
the conversation; this was something I was curious about as well.  
"We can take the Volvo if we lay the back seats down and set up a makeshift bed for Bella," Alice  
suggested. "That way one of us can sit with her at all times."  
"We should get her out of town as soon as possible, you will want to have her somewhere stable during  
the last few hours of her change," Carlisle mused and then he turned to me, "Edward, I'll need some help  
getting the equipment set up in the Volvo."  
I looked at Bella again, her dark hair fanning around a pale white face contorted in pain. If only I  
could hear her thoughts, then I would know if everything was working right! I turned a pained look on  
Alice and she knew instinctively what I wanted. "I'll wait with her while you help Carlisle," she said,  
touching my hand reassuringly. I took one last look at Bella and then followed Carlisle to the garage.  
"I know that it doesn't make much sense to make her comfortable when all she can feel is the pain, but  
as a doctor I can't just let her suffer and do nothing to help her," Carlisle muttered as we folded the  
seats down in the back of the Volvo to make room for Bella's bedding and medical supplies.  
While we compiled a list of things we would need from Carlisle's medical kit, Esme brought us a large  
quilt and some feather pillows from the linen closet. She insisted on making up a bed for her while we  
gathered the equipment we needed.  
"Things will work out, Edward," Esme told me silently, "I'm not sure how, but they will."  
"While you are in the car with her, make sure you talk to her and explain what is happening to her. It's  
a terrifying enough experience without someone to comfort you," Carlisle thought almost reminiscently.  
I thought about that while I watched Esme fluff the pillows and rearrange the quilt. I knew that Bella  
was going to be confused when she first felt the burn in her throat and the strength of her limbs, but I  
didn't know what to say to make it easier or believable.  
"What should I say?"  
For all I knew she would awaken to this life and attack me for what I did to her. What could I possibly  
say that would ease her into our way of life and our family?  
Carlisle thought about that for a moment, his mind flitting from one idea to the next, rejecting them  
all for one reason or another. Finally he sighed as he closed the door of the Volvo. "Just let Alice  
handle it, she will know what to do."  
I sighed and raked a hand through my hair. I didn't want Alice shouldering all the responsibility of  
taking care of Bella. I had done this; it was my burden to bear! How could I stand by and watch as my  
family fixed all of my mistakes? I needed to do something to help; I didn't want to be a dead weight,  
watching helplessly from the sidelines.  
Carlisle must have sensed my frustration because he put his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.  
"Edward, everyone makes mistakes. The wonderful thing about families is the people involved care about  
each other enough to help fix mistakes. You don't have to do everything alone."


	5. Chapter 5

I thought about Carlisle's words as Jasper, Alice and I climbed into the Volvo and set off for Denali.  
Esme had called the Denali coven and explained the situation, so I knew that Carmen would set up rooms  
for us in their home. I was looking forward to seeing our friends, even under these unfortunate  
circumstances, but I still wished that it didn't have to happen.  
Alice had situated herself next to Bella, holding her hand and smoothing her hair out of her face with a  
gentle hand. As I watched them I saw Bella's back bow, she screamed in agony, her arms flailing wildly  
as she lashed out at something only she could see. A moan of guilt strangled me as I made a move toward  
her, reaching out to comfort her. Alice gave me a pitying look and turned her attention back to Bella,  
attempting to soothe and calm her as much as possible. I slunk back to where I had been sitting, my eyes  
locked on the screaming girl.  
"I wish I had your self-control."  
I snorted and turned towards Jasper, who had spoken to me through his thoughts so as not to let Alice  
hear our discussion.  
"Right," I muttered sarcastically under my breath, "I'm the king of self-control. We are just making a  
normal trip up to Alaska because we feel like it."  
"I'm serious, Edward. I smelled her blood from across the parking lot and it was indeed appetizing. If I  
started to feed from anyone I wouldn't be able to stop. You stopped… what I want to know is how you did  
it and why."  
"You should know why I stopped; I didn't want to harm her in the first place. The problem was that her  
blood called to me in a way I've never experienced before. I don't think I could have stopped myself  
from luring her into those woods even if you and Emmett had tackled me. I was too far gone to think  
about anything else."  
The scene from the parking lot played in my head again, as clear now as it had been an hour ago when it  
had happened. I knew that it was wrong to kill her; I knew that it would cause my family problems, but I  
couldn't stop myself. There was something so alluring about her that I had to have her, no matter what  
the cost.  
"If she was so tempting, how did you stop once you bit her and tasted her blood?"  
I knew that Jasper wasn't spiteful and angry, like Rosalie. He was genuinely curious; he wanted to know  
how I had stopped. The problem was that I really didn't know how I had stopped. It was like something in  
me had broken when I saw the blood on her skin. In that instant I knew that I had broken more than the  
treaty we had with the Quileute's in La Push, I had stolen the life of a human being. It was something I  
had promised myself I would never do again. I didn't know if Jasper would understand that, but I would  
try to explain it.  
"Alice had seen a vision of me covered in her blood and I knew it was going to come true, the problem is  
that when it did… I couldn't handle it. In the moment that I saw the blood on her skin my mind snapped.  
I had promised myself years ago that I would never take another human life; I had put my rebellious  
years behind me. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had taken another person's life. It's not my  
place to decide who should live and die. I was so horrified with what I was doing that it snapped me out  
of the pull the bloodlust had on me. When I was able to pull myself away from her, I ran as fast as I  
could to find Carlisle. I knew that I had to do everything in my power to save her, even if it meant  
spending the rest of my existence easing her into our world."  
Jasper was quiet after that, his mind carefully examining each point I had mentioned and comparing it to  
his own moral code. I was thankful for the reprieve; it left me free to watch over Bella again.  
During my few minutes with Jasper, Alice had begun talking to Bella, explaining the new life she was  
going to be living. It was difficult for me to listen to Alice talk about life as one of us, to know  
that every word she said was true. I myself was over a hundred years old and still as young as I had  
looked on the day Carlisle had changed me. It was a lot to take in for anyone. Even I was still facing  
each new day and wondering if I was caught in a never ending nightmare. I just hoped I could make it  
different for her.  
"…I know it's painful now, but the pain won't last forever. When it's all over you will be surprised at  
how many things you can do that you couldn't before. You'll be able to run fast and never get tired, you  
will have time to learn anything you ever wanted to know and you will have people around who want to  
help you succeed. You have a family waiting to welcome you with open arms if you want us…"  
More than ever I wished I knew what she was thinking. I wanted to know if she could hear Alice at all or  
if the pain was over powering her ability to think at all. Would she be willing to join our family? Or  
would she hate me so much for what I did to her that she would become another nomad?  
These questions and more ran through my mind as we drove to Denali. The trip which would take a human  
driver over fifty hours only took us thirty, though it was a long thirty hours with Bella's shrieks of  
agony as our constant companion. Somewhere between Terrace and Stewart in British Columbia, Bella's  
temperature rose as her heart began pumping double speed. Alice dug through the medical supplies we  
brought with us and found an Insta-Cold ice pack. Bella's screams increased when the iciness of the pack  
touched her head but after a few minutes Alice told me that the fever was reducing to more normal rates.  
Jasper couldn't drive fast enough for me, I wanted to arrive in Denali and get Bella into a real bed for  
the end of her transformation. Carlisle had stressed the importance of the last few hours; so many  
things could go wrong. He promised me that I could call him the minute her heart rate changed, (becoming  
a hum instead of beats) and he would talk me through any problems that might occur. I knew that  
intellectually I could handle any surprise that might come my way; but emotionally, I wasn't so sure. I  
had done everything possible to save this girl; if she died, it would be entirely my fault.  
I didn't know if I could live with myself if that happened.  
We arrived in Denali just before midnight the day after we left Forks. Jasper parked the car on the  
sweeping lawn of our friend's home and rushed to the door to let them know we were bringing Bella  
inside.  
Eleazar arrived outside in time to watch Alice scoop a whimpering girl into her arms. He helped her  
maneuver her way into the house, so as not to jostle Bella too much and he turned to me with a knowing  
sadness in his eyes. "I'm glad you came to us for help." His thoughts were gentle but there were  
memories layering it and I cringed from them. Eleazar had seen more in his life than I ever wished to  
see.  
"Thank you for hosting us during this difficult time, we needed to be away from searching eyes to help  
her," I said as we clasped hands. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it in a familiar way.  
"You know we would do anything for such good friends," he said in a tone that made me feel guilty for  
thanking them. It was true they were like family to us, but it was hard enough for me to lay my problems  
at Carlisle and Esme's feet, bringing them to our Denali "cousins" felt even worse.  
Carmen poked her head outside and motioned to me and Eleazar. "Come on upstairs, we have a room set up  
for your new friend to use while she recovers."  
It felt odd to have Bella's circumstances described that way, but I knew that Carmen was just trying to  
make me feel more comfortable with the situation and I appreciated that. "Thank you for letting us stay  
with you," I told her as she pulled me into a motherly hug.  
"The Cullen's are always welcome to stay with us, no matter what the situation is," Carmen chided me and  
hustled me up the stairs. "Alice says that the girl is going to be a great beauty and I agree; from what  
little I saw of her she is going to rival my Tanya in looks."  
"Well, I don't know if I would say that," came a familiar, sultry voice from an open door to our right.  
I turned and saw a head of strawberry blonde hair as Tanya walked out into the hallway to greet us.  
"Ah, Tanya," I said politely, "It's nice to see you again."  
A glint of anger flashed in her eyes as she looked across the hall and watched Alice settling Bella into  
bed. "I've been wondering when you would come back to see us. I've missed you," she said and her lower  
lip pouted in a way I'm sure any other male would have found highly attractive. It always annoyed me.  
Before I could give her a brotherly hug she leaned forward and pressed a welcoming kiss to my lips. I  
smiled ruefully, knowing that this would be a problem I would have to face while staying here.  
"Have you changed your mind about my offer?" Tanya thought the question as opposed to speaking it. I  
knew it was because she didn't want anyone else to overhear.  
I hesitated, looking into the room where Alice was attempting to comfort Bella. Then I shook my head,  
unable to look at the hurt on her face from my rejection. "Now isn't a good time for this," I muttered.  
"I see. I suppose I'm just going to have to watch you deal with your new friend," she thought bitterly.  
I turned back toward her, anger and hurt clawing their way out of me and into my next words. "That isn't  
it and you know it. I did this to her and now I need to help her," I spat forcefully at her.  
A wounded look passed through her eyes and I knew my words had hit their mark. I reached out a hand  
towards her to ease the pain I had caused, but I saw it was no use. She quickly turned back into her  
room and shut the door with force that rattled the door frame. I closed my eyes and sighed, I would have  
to make it up to her in some way, but I didn't know how. She wanted something I couldn't give her, and  
it was hurting both of us more and more each time we saw each other.  
"She will calm down, it is in her nature to be very passionate," Carmen reminded me. "Now go and sit  
with your friend, she will be in need of a friend and mentor soon enough."  
With that she took Eleazar by the hand, and they made their way back downstairs, leaving me to go inside  
Bella's room and face the next three days agonizing at her side.


End file.
